When we fight.

It started in the clouds
with tiny cottages
sometimes far-off huts or mansions
and as we grew
the dwellings became smaller, more compact

I was warned and
You were warned
and still we did not surrender
but held eachother more fiercely

Sometimes I cannot see the cracks,
only the bright house we've painted over our conversations
Initially, any clouds would make walls fall out
and the floors erupt
I would cry, and you would scream

And now it only seems that sometimes our hopes,
strung along the banister untwist
themselves
and must be re-tied
perhaps in different places

Or other times, one of us re-paints the walls
without consent
and the other clings to a bare patch,
although it looks ridiculous,
begging that it remain untouched

But the house no longer self-destructs and I feel safe to move in

I won't apologize, and I am not sorry
not for tears, not for the remodeling
No argument would I replace.
Leave your loud words floating in the air
Don't replace the missing steps.

No one promised ease, they guaranteed the other.
A move-in ready bungalow
won't equal what I've learned
when the door flew off
or the roof floated away

That night, after blaming eachother
we slept under the stars
and contemplated how to secure another.
The new roof is heavier
and no matter how strong a wind blows
it doesn't move

Our secret smiles and the softer kisses
only evolved from repairing the broken windows.
which took days
and made the neighbors question our sanity

I don't mind if we've dreamed a 'fixer-upper'
Or even if we damage it once-in-a-while
As long as we keep repairing every time.

We mutually imagined that we would buy our home,
instead, we're paying more
and building it from stratch.
It's unique, sometimes ideal and completely our own.