My bedroom floor

I cried until it was a carpet of soggy, snotty tissues
And breathed the silent, earthquake sobs.

I screamed to crack the quiet.
And prayed. But there was no miracle.

So I read. And consumed the words without digestion for something to fill my mind.

Now I cannot pause.
If even for a moment my mind was not occupied this vicious loneliness
would pour in and consume me.

And the floor would overflow, smothering me in my own used tears.
And the shaking sobs would separate my body.

I survive.
But surviving is far from living the marvelous life I was intended.

Once, I knew how to really live.
But the sorrow attacked my mind and ate away the knowledge.
I must re-learn how to be alive.
Until the lessons, I can only survive.