Thursday, August 10, 2006

LINES

this is not for anyone, just a way to voice my questions and plead once more for something clearer. The part about the angels was God's confirmation through a man at the park who's first words (in broken english) to me were, "You have very strong angels." and i still smile to consider that i keep my guardians in-shape.

draw the lines much deeper
carve close to the muscle
i want to see the fences

bright imagination; still too far
never dared these depths

the strongest shambles of armor
and firm assurance of body-builder angels

sorted out the 'if' and 'don't'
you must realize color
but i'm still waiting for definers
i am a woman.- i guess you already knew

how holy are bills in blood?
can you salvage the cocaine?
my list continues on

never doubt the people
or question humanity
i'm struggling with holiness
waist-deep in pig-shit pride

my pedastal would smash
if it was off the ground
instructors are the drug-lords,
thats enough in shards

i like the shocking titles
the glow it gives my face
but when its me and the four walls
can't pretend there is no 'them'

waiting on the borders
darkest black, please
and simple things; like do i feed the hungry?

i know where to stand on something like pawn shops,
but where is your commandment
on taking the gifts of a theif,
and is this so much different?

do my eyes scream loud enough?
is telling right or left crossing into sin?
when to be a friend is an alibi, do i walk away?

i don't want to live it
experience is scary, open-house for error
make a list- typed, so i won't slip
highlight all in bold

love and justice don't mix,
but combust with deadly fumes
how can i declare to care
grasp the hand who's twin sells the death
and really love that too-thin woman, fistfull of a wrinkled twenty

father; do i feed the hungry?

4 comments:

ma'am said...

Yes, I do read your poems. It's nice that you make them public now...I always felt like I was sneaking into your life when I found them lying around the house or accidentally found them on the computer.

Ellen said...

well, since you read them, will you email me the ones about thailand? im not sure where they are...
and what's your answer- should we always feed the hungry?

ma'am said...

ALWAYS feed the hungry?? Hmm... If we are supposed to forgive 70X7, then I guess we could apply that to a feeding program. People will always abuse and take advantage of us, but I'm not sure that it negates the command to feed the hungry. Continue until you get a clear sign to stop. How's that for a black and white answer?

Ellen said...

lol, i was thinking something along the lines of the hungry being having the munchies from smoking pot?
a drug dealer loaded with cash, but wont spend it for a few hours until he sorts out what is profit and what is business funds- does God want us to feed the hungry or just the poor?
i still dont know where i stand for sure, but i do know i have a relationship with some of these guys because i went and bought a slice of pizza, because i invited them over and shared the donated wedding leftovers, because i gave even just a quarter for a freezie on a hot morning.